Saturday, my Mistress had been invited to a hook suspension event. It clashed with the Girl’s birthday party and I still feel bad for letting her down and not being there as I should have been. I wanted to be there, but I had already said to my Mistress I would go with her, especially when there was the likelihood that she may end up doing a suspension. She needed me more and so I was there to support her as I should be as her girl. Me not driving meant that she had to drive us home afterwards and so there was no way we could have attended the birthday games night straight after.
So Girl, I know that we haven’t really spoken since I got home, but I apologise. I would not have missed it for all the world if this had not been so important!
As we arrived at the suspension there was someone just about to be lowered down from a suspension and I breathed in sharply on seeing this. It was an awesome sight, to see what I can only describe as an angel hanging there from multiple hooks through the skin. I began to be worried for my Mistress that this might be dangerous, but held onto the fact that she was likely to just do a hook pull and not the suspension that evening.
Seeing a picture of this fetish is way different from actually being there and seeing it being done. The hooks going through the skin are amazing to watch, and although I was slightly horrified as I took a lot of pictures for her, I was morbidly curious and glad to have taking the pictures to occupy the worry in my stomach about how way out there this was.
It’s not my thing I will say! It’s quite a thing to watch, but I will never even contemplate doing anything of the sort. It scared the fuck out of me! So I will end this post with one thing! A picture of my Mistress and my girl from Saturday night! Was amazing to watch (I took 69 pictures of the evening!) She spent more time making sure I was alright while hanging there, despite it being her on the end of the hooks and not me! I was so proud of her and what she was doing despite not agreeing with it. She is an amazing woman and one I am glad to not only call my own, but be owned by her.
That really hurts. I love you but that really fucking hurts.
I said if you wanted to go to the party you could have, I didnt want you to be there out of obligation if you were wanting to be somewhere else. You said no that you wanted to be there with me and in fact didnt want to see her lover hanging off of her, yet here you are apologizing to her for not being there, letting her down?!
I think it actually hurts more because all of all the things I’ve just spoken to you about, the realizations I’ve come to and shared with you.
I forget for a moment that I am not actually the only person in your life that you actually wanted there. That I am monogamous with you in all ways that I have no need or want for others and it still comes as a shock to me. I assumed it was the same for you and I forget that while your needs are met you did actually want for another. I forgot I’m not to assume things with you.
I love you with every part of me and I hope that after I finally sleep this doesnt sting quite so much.
It was a great night and I was really happy to have you there, I’m sorry you were left feeling guilty for being there in the end.
You know I would not ask you to do things that scare you, I will be doing this again and next time I am sure to be suspended. I need to know if I can count on you to be my support or if I need to have someone else by my side for this xxx
I WANT to be there! There was no need for all of this! It’s not how I should’ve started today!
I am with you! I do not want to see jealousy or upset about someone else. I gave myself to You! I cannot help that I have feelings for her. And regardless of how I felt, it did not stop me from feeling bad that I couldn’t be in two places at once!
I wanted to be with you there, I wanted to support you through that. I did not feel obligated, I was by your side as I should’ve been.
However, I cannot and will not be told how to feel because it makes you feel hurt, despite me giving you monogamy and I know hurting her because of that.
I cannot believe that you are being so selfish as to do this, when it is you that has me totally. I still do not have you totally!!!! Your words right now count for nothing, I have only your actions! And they still sting, regardless of your excuses!