It’s Saturday and only 8.30am and I’m bored already! I have work to do but I don’t want to start it as I need to take a fair crack at it. My job is boring, the accounting part is becoming less and less attractive as I do less and less of it. Beng a manager leading a team, it’s no longer part of my role. The team do that work and I manage them and review their work. My main role is to deal with my clients and provide a service to them. (Seems appropriate that I serve doesn’t it?)
I have no need to hurry today, all my plans have gone awry for this weekend and I’m tempted to not go to the picnic tomorrow either. Maybe I’ll just sit outside on the patio and do work? I need to learn to drive a car, it’s torturous here without one, it makes me want to stay in due to traveling times.
I had really good news yesterday and feel a little deflated today waiting for the details of what that news was. I am so impatient I want everything now! I never used to be like this, I think it’s a reaction to not having my needs met all these years. So consequently I get anxious waiting for confirmation about things that make me immensely happy. I know it’s not like me to not say what’s going on, but this time I can’t.
I’m happier than I’ve ever been though, and yet I’m sitting here alone. The girl left some amazing comments here yesterday, I’m still flying from the joy they brought me, as well as The Dungeon Mistress leaving an amazing comment too, yesterday was the most amazing day I’ve had since I started down this road of mine. What do I want right now? Nothing much, to be able to spend time with Her, with the Girl and with the Dungeon Mistress. Long term? I want and need a Mistress as I know that I will never be able ease this ache otherwise.
There is the one I want, and who I’m not sure will ever be able to take me, yet I would give up everything for Her. And there is the other who I think might be just as good and who I would be honoured to serve, who won’t take me as I am right now.
And then there is the Girl, who I would have to stop the dalliance that we are involved in if I ever was to be ready for her, who might take me once I’ve scratched this itch. I would also lose her if She took me on and I moved from here. Either way I may lose her, that’s so unfair when I’ve only just found her!
So, I’m living in the short-term as the Girl is all I have right now. I don’t know where it’s going, she makes my heart smile and that’s all I know! It’s taken me 40 minutes to voice this, I’m cold, my nipples hurt with the ache. I’m off to take pics for Sinful Sunday for next weekend as I will be busy then, it’s Easter I need to roll my eggs!