I’ve been thinking this morning about the need to feel the pain. It’s not the ache, but it’s part of it. I mean it makes me feel so good. And I know that’s always surprising t those who don’t feel like this, but wow I don’t orgasm like that any other way! It’s as if my whole body comes! Is that even possible? My face tinged for hours last week afterwards. Last time was even better than the first time, falling to my knees while coming is the most awesome feeling in the world.
I have tiny bruises, and that’s sad because I do love the big ones, however the best bit was wakening up to blood which ad run down my legs! Not much but its been nearly 30 years since someone drew blood beating me. I love canes, I love the welts, but that paddle and that flogger with the balls is pretty god too! Jeez don’t you just love being flogged?
My friend sent me a message today about she now understands why I like so much! She had a very red bottom, lucky girl!
Oh yeah! The rest of that ache! It comes from needing to be on my knees, nothing else is going to scratch that itch. It’s like this pain in my chest and it never goes away. It’s always there and sometimes, sometimes I can’t bear it like today. Today I’m on the verge of screaming, it’s killing me! I want to cry but can’t, I can’t cry without being beaten and sometimes I still don’t cry. This damned itch is driving me insane!
Anyway, I wrote a poem for a lady who has brought me to my knees twice Here its called Where I Belong.