Libido

It’s funny, I used to dream of being a writer and thought that I never would be. But here I am sitting writing, I suppose it’s all how you look at it. Before I used to always think you had to be published and have a tangible thing in your hand, on a bookshelf before you could say you were a writer. But, I am a writer whether I am published in that sense or not is irrelevant, I write! And what’s more people actually read what I write, be it my musings here or my stories on my other blog.

So, yes there is also a point to this blog and I will eventually get to it, just give me my time, I lead up to it with my storytelling.

Today, today I am down with another cold and feeling poorly as usual. I have had no interests in sex, not that I’ve any chance of getting any anyway! But right in the middle of today, bang! There it was back, no dirty thoughts, nothing to even make me horny. But, right there in the middle of my very busy day there it was, the urge!

So I’m lying here in bed now having done nothing about it, I’m scared it will go away again ( a week is a long time for me to not feel horny, hell a day is!) and I’m incredibly horny. I have an incredible appetite when it comes to sex, I could go all day and still want more and have done. I think about it constantly too, and my ex was sure I had a mans brain, as I think about having sex every minute that I’m not actually having sex. But I’m ill and feel terrible, but I would still have sex right now with the right person.

So here’s the point, told you there was one! The libido was just a red herring btw! We limit ourselves with what we think! For all these years I could’ve been writing I thought I couldn’t possibly be. Yet here I am, I was wrong and I’ve been wrong about so many things recently and all limits I’ve placed on myself. As silly as not picking up the phone to talk to someone I was desperate to talk to because I was scared. Of what I’ve no idea and it wasn’t hell, the world didn’t fall on my head and I didn’t stutter.

So here is the point, if we keep limiting ourselves by saying that we can’t do something, then we will never be able to do that thing it is we have talked ourselves out of doing! We need to be able to let go and just believe that things will be fine, and not make up all the hell for ourselves that we do daily.

Yesterday, I wasn’t scared, today I wasn’t scared and tomorrow I won’t be scared either, and you know what? I will write about not being scared too.