#WickedWednesday A party for ladies!

So Saturday night arrived after a week of taunting and teasing from  our sadistic friend who I had offered us both up to for the opportunity to paddle her the week before. We weren’t scared, just more apprehensive as to what she had up her sleeve. I had been asked on the Friday if I was any good at boot blacking – luckily I am! Polish in hand we arrived at the party to find that she hadn’t arrived yet and it would be her alter ego Major Orlov who would be coming in her place!

I half expected her to turn up in her awesome latex outfit which she had been showing me at the Chess game, but when the Major arrive she was in camouflage gear which she had had shipped over just in time for this! I was really nervous and trying not to think about what had been asked of me. It has been nearly 30 years since I had serviced anyone in this way. I just had a few wines and tried not to think about how I would react to boot blacking with someones feet actually in their boots.  The Mistress who had trained me so very long ago had never allowed that privilege while we were together saying I was not yet worthy.

Our pup went and asked her to let us know when she was ready for me and to my surprise she said now. We went into the dungeon and waited I knelt at the bottom of the spanking bench for a few seconds and then decided that nerves were getting the better of me and went outside for a smoke as she passed me and went in and sat. She didn’t wait and called for me and as I knelt at her feet my heart began to pound.

My Lady knelt to the left of me holding a glass of wine for the Major and I began to brush on the polish working quickly and efficiently but not without a little panic! Leaving her first boot I began to slowly put the polish on the second boot, this time getting into my stride and working more slowly and painstakingly (my Lady was urging me silently to go quickly as she was not in a good position and couldn’t now move)

I worked slowly though, my mind going back to when I was still a child and I would polish all of my then Mistress’ shoes and boots, often several times in a row as they were not good enough. As I worked my top side fell away and when I had finished brushing and polishing I found I was a girl again and no longer my Lady’s Sir! Bang went my second week of being in charge! The Major had put one of her legs on my shoulder as I worked on the other boot and it had sent my control flying.

Boot blacking!

Boot blacking!

As the Major stood up and admired her boots and I began to pack my things away, I realised I had not waterproofed so offered that to her and she sat back down as I again worked away slowly and patiently my thoughts calming as I did so. Soon I had finished and was thanked for my excellent work. I couldn’t believe that I had slipped out of top mode so easily and my friends laughed at me losing a week and facing the prospect of now 3 weeks as my Lady’s girl.

We watched as our sadistic friend (now back as herself) had a rope play session with a friend of ours. I watched intently as she wrapped the rope not saying a word. As you may well know I love rope and even the sight of it does something to me. Afterwards I heard my Lady ask our friend if she had time, if she could do a suspension with me and before I knew where I was  she was asking me to take my shirt off as it might tear with the rope.

As soon as the rope touched me I was gone. I had not really came back from the headspace that the boot blacking had made me fall into so very quickly and easily. Within a short time I was flying and not aware of anything going on around me. It felt amazing to play with rope after so many many years – I was young again and something let go inside. I was vaguely aware of her knife being dragged across parts of my body and for a split second of it being dragged across my throat I wondered if there was going to be blood. Somehow I didn’t care, anything could’ve been done to me and I would have just stayed in that space I was in. I wasn’t aware of being put back on the ground again and as the rope was taken off slowly I let go of everything that has been inside for so long. As the last piece dropped to the ground I burst into tears, sobbing.

My friend held me and my Lady came over and kissed me as I sobbed in her arms not able to stop the flood of release that was happening. The room was silent despite there being quite a few people in the dungeon. Eventually I stopped crying and I realised I felt amazing. My Lady took some amazing pictures and videos and I look totally out of it on every one! :-)


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The only thing to come was my Lady’s punishment – I had gotten off lightly our friend thinking I had paid back for paddling her with my boot blacking (and the fact that I had lost a week!).

We had an amazing evening and had lots of laugh with the hostess afterwards not arriving home until nearly 3.45am exhausted and still laughing at the events of the night. I look forward to my Lady overcoming her fear of rope so that we can play together, but there is one thing for sure I will be doing her shoes and boots regularly as I had forgotten the feeling I get from such service.

I did try and post a video of part of the evening but am having no luck! :-(

For more WICKED WEDNESDAY 1st Birthday fun click the image below

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A winning game of chess

Saturday saw us at an event playing chess.

No we have not become boring since getting married, this was a game of chess with a difference! We were playing with human pieces! The week before we spent the day helping to make the costumes (well if you could call them that!). Every piece wore a g-string according to their colour, were wrapped in either clear or black cling film and had on their varying style of hats!

My favourite had to be the bishop hats which I made [did I say that I started a new job for the church recently? ;-) ] and of course the pawns hats which were pom poms!  It was a hilarious evening that almost never happened due to only half of the pieces turning up! But in the end we decided to have a half game as we had enough pieces for that. I expect they chickened out as my sadistic friend who arranged the evening was one of the ones to be dishing out the funishment for those knocked off the board before the end of the game, as well as the losers!

My girl and I were the white players with us having 2 minutes to decide on a move then another for us to move our players.  We were very pleased at being asked and began the game with much hilarity at the site of the players on the board. We even had proper horses (well men in horse heads and leather harnesses) for the knight pieces. Anyway we began to play and black pretty much matched us move for move which left them in a position of us taking their major pieces with just half hour in and them not having a clue what to do next.

She was funny rubbing her tits on every player as she moved about the board and apologising for sacrificing them, and I just wandered around thinking of our next move and laughing at the smiles on everyone’s faces.

Before too long we had put the black king into check which they desperately tried to get out of leaving our bishop  one move to put them into check mate.  Next was the real fun part!

The funishment!

A wheel had been set up with numbers on and those pieces, from the first who had been knocked off to the players for the black team they took their turn at spinning the wheel to see what their funishment was (although  for some it was no fun!).

My girl and I paddled a Mistress friend of ours from the Eastern states on the condition that she had us both at a coming event this Saturday before she flies back home. I stupidly said yes! So come Saturday at a girls only evening we will be on the receiving end of what we dished out to her with ping pong bats! Yikes!

I am not sure if I am looking forward to it or not as our Sadistic friend whose party it is will also have access to us and if you remember a year ago, she gave me a severe caning on her birthday. I know what’s coming with her, but our friend from over east I have heard is worse!

On that scary matter I will end off for today with this; don’t give your queen away – I am sure I will regret giving mine away come Saturday – perhaps I should take up the offer of substituting my pup in my place so that I can tend to my love? ;-)

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The pieces and the players (sorry had to take the heads off the Black players as everyone else is masked apart from us)

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Us with the knights – notice I had my chaps on in honour of the occasion!

 

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Control

So here’s the thing! I have been a complete and utter rotten girl for the whole of this year! I have no idea why other than I’ve used as an excuse, all the things that have happened to us this year alone!

(A recap for those who don’t know! We were out of both of our houses for the beginning of the year and desperately worried on where we were going to live. My Mistress’ things were all put out onto the street, a stop gap was pulled from below our feet and we were effectively homeless. Luckily a good friend took us in with our child and friends rallied around to help us move all of our things. Just when we had settled I had a cancer scare which went on for weeks and then we were in a 5 car crash with our less than a week old car and then a few weeks later my contract at work was not renewed.)

Now that things are looking up and I have started another job, we can see over the pit we had fallen into. Today we had a long chat about expectations and both of our behaviour over this time. I in particular have been very lacking. I often have been stubborn and not submitted when all I wanted to do was fall to my knees at Her feet. I don’t know why I haven’t been the best I could’ve been for Her.

I was writing earlier about it on Fetlife and before I knew where I was I was writing about hiding who I was again and that was the reason for not writing too. It’s made things worse by not writing the way I have for so many years now and my submission to my Mistress suffered as a consequence. I have felt so out of control the whole of 2013 so far, and yet if I had only submitted to Her then it would have made everything else alright again.

Control is not always about being the one in charge, and even when it has been my turn to be in charge I have still felt out of control. Control is about so many other things, like being who you are meant to be and doing the things that make you happy and not denying yourself. So I am writing again in a way that I used to with my fingers flying across the keys and my heart soaring despite writing about my lacking behaviour towards my Mistress.

My Lady has laid down expectations of what She expects and I have agreed to them as they are what make me happy as well as making Her happy too which is what my main aim in life is.

So today is a new beginning and our married life will, I am sure go from strength to strength. I am writing again and that also makes Her happy.

I hope that I can make up for my behaviour and any embarrassment that I may have caused her when out at an event. Today is a new day and I am in control again.

 

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My wife and I

So a lot has been going on! We had a handfasting ceremony on 1st May and it was amazing! The rain poured down on us as my wife to be walked through a wall of flame (well several torches and 100 nightlight in bags) we were tied together, exchanged rings and said our vows and yes I cried at her words!

It was an amazing evening spent with close friends and family the whole time bound together until we could escape to our room! ;-)

Then we spent a week on honeymoon which our pup gave us as a wedding present. She is the most wonderful puppy and has been ours since October last year. She brings a lot to our family with her cheeky ways, although she talks way too much but is learning to tone it down a bit recently.

The rest of the time I have been searching for a job as my position of 2 and a half years ended when they did not renew my contract due to  budget constraints. It’s been a really hard time as I’ve had no income and as usual had no savings. We have been really struggling and it has been particularly hard for my ego depending on others to help out with our wedding.

I intend to start writing again soon on a more regular basis as not writing has not been good for me at all. So I will be writing again regularly from next week and that includes stories and poetry too and maybe even my Phoenix Wolf Rising blog too since it is nearly my time again! ;-)

Aisle of flame

Some of the 100 candles I lit so Ailish had an aisle of flame :-)

Married

Married :-)

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Feels like forever!

Last night we played for the first time in what seemed forever. It hasn’t been, but it felt like that the last few days. A reason for this is that several times recently we have switched back to me being in control, and so there hasn’t been the time to play with me.

Last night was amazing. I like pointy things and you probably realise that from a lot of my posts! My Mistress bought claws – red metal ones! They were made especially for her and although they weren’t as sharp as they were meant to be, they were amazing! I wriggled constantly on the cross as she gently pulled them down my back for the first time. She dragged them all over my skin including my cunt as I melted and moaned on the cross. I was wearing our new blindfold and that already sends me into the headspace of willing to do anything for her.

I love Her more than I have ever loved anyone and She loves me more than I have ever been loved in my whole life. Being fucked on the cross in such a state almost made my knees give way at one point. But I held myself up there as she tried out our new flogger which I think I may have fallen in love with! I had no idea when she came out that she had the harness on. She began with bubbles! I dare you to try that! She blew them all over my body and blindfolded in the dark I suddenly realised what it was that was touching my skin so lightly! It’s the most amazing sensation! Then she started with the claws and knives as I almost begged her to take me inside to bed and fuck me. I needn’t have worried though as she soon had me bent over and was fucking me hard with my head was hitting the wall behind the cross.

Afterwards she began to beat me and I counted 2 floggers, a paddle and a leather carpet beater before she used a cane. She knows just how to build up until I almost collapse with the ecstasy of it! I wondered if I would handle the cane after such a while since we have used one, but She was gentle with me and as usual I fucking loved it.

We played for over an hour and as usual I could have gone on forever! I was floating in and out of my happy place for the whole time. No one has ever made me go there so quickly or easily as She does.

It will soon be our 1 year anniversary and I have something special planned. So does She seemingly and with her I never guess what the surprises are – it’s amazing that she gets so many surprises past me as I normally guess everything that is planned. So all I need to do now is keep my secret until the 1st May! I’m not sure I will be able to, I like to make her smile and I am sure that this surprise will!

Keep your fingers crossed for me! :-)

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Posted in Musings

?+?=? A #WickedWednesday post

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When I first saw the prompt I immediately went back to last weekend and although I would normally write a fictional story for Wicked Wednesday, I can’t help but share my last weekend and the amazing event I attended in Brisbane called Carnage 2.

MY Mistress/girl (she started off as my Mistress when we left and by the time we were there she was my girl :-D ) originally hails from Queensland and so it’s a place that she likes to visit although I have only had the pleasure twice including last weekend so far.

We stayed for the first two nights with our dear friend and artist Muted who has recently moved there to be with her Daddy and who we miss terribly. Arriving Friday morning we headed down to the Gold Coast to their place after first stopping for some breakfast, after flying all night we were extremely hungry. Friday night after a catch up saw us at two lovely ladies place who hold an event called Evilution. It was Evil Girls night, and there my Mistress became my girl again. She is a dolly and as I went out for a smoke she had tried on a mask and instantly was in that headspace. When I returned she was sitting on a swing in a cage and I stood holding the bars staring into her beautiful eyes for all the world wishing I could have seen the moment she had switched.

We had the most wonderful night after that but the details I shall remain silent on, after all some things should be kept private.

Saturday we were all excited for what was about to be a 12 hour event. Our friend Muted was to be carrying out cuttings all day and the two of us were to be her canvases. Charlee had experienced this before but I had not and to say I was apprehensive would be an understatement. I had however decided on a line cutting only, so there was to be no flesh removed and this I thought I would handle for a first time. Arriving at the event it was exciting watching as the first hook suspension of the day was being prepared and my girl lay down on the bed to have her wolf paw print cut into her backside. I can think of nothing more honourable than someone having such a scar created in honour of you, can you?

Watching both her cutting and the first suspension was difficult and I gave up and watched my girl to make sure she was alright, before being told the suspension was about to happen. The hook suspension was being done through a friend of ours knees and was certainly a sight to behold. I watched grinning as she pushed away and refused to be taken down after a minute, wanting to stay up there longer. She is a machine this woman and pushes her boundaries constantly.

By then my girl’s cutting was done and it was my turn. I was scared I must admit. Despite all of my tattoos I wondered if I could cope with the pain of this type of thing. She started, warning me not to clench my arse cheeks and told me she was about to begin. It hurt! It really hurt! But my girl was holding my hand and I lay there and got into a space where it didn’t hurt! Before I knew where I was, it was done! What do you think?

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The day was awesome from there on in! We both had liquid nitrogen brands – not the ones we were supposed to have done since the brand hadn’t been made in time, but matching brands which still are healing. Next it was time for my girl’s suspension. I get anxious when she does things so hard, and so I was nervous that I wouldn’t support her enough or that she would not go through with it and then beat herself up because she had lost a chance of doing it for a time. But as I watched her I knew deep down that she was going through with this. I had permission to be up on the stage with her, but although that would have been fine, I watched as she got into the head space she needed to be in and realised I would just be in the way so stood below her and watched her as the hooks went in. I had already watched before as she had done a hook pull so had seen the gory details before. The bar and rope were attached and then she was standing above me looking for all the world like an angel. As I stood back I watched the indecision on her face, not due to the suspension but due to the fact she was balanced on the edge of the stage and she suffers from fear of heights. Seconds later I watched with tears in my eyes as she lifted her feet and flew. It was an amazing sight and the tears streamed down my face at how beautiful she was. Yes I’m a big bad domme! Ha ha

The day went on and we chatted with friends and watched numerous suspensions, needle and fire play and then came my moment that I had been waiting for all day. A moment which my girl wondered if I would go through with. I was going to become something I had always wanted to be.

So where does the prompt come in I hear you say?

needles

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Feathers

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So you see it fits into the prompt perfectly! It was the most amazing experience and my very first time trying needles! I loved it and already have another project planned for my next trip to Brisbane. I cannot wait to do this again but on a different and larger scale!.

Click the link above or below for more Wicked Wednesday fun!

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Posted in Wicked Wednesday

Enough!

There are times in your life when you wonder what you ever did in your life before,
that so many things have gone wrong.

Right now is one of those times! From the first day of the year we have had nothing
but strife and bad luck. Although in amongst that there has been good luck in that we
weren’t seriously injured in a car crash. When you walk away from a five car pile-up,
you must have some good luck surely?

The bad luck continues and we don’t seem to be getting a break and I for one, don’t
know how much more I can take of it all. I just want things back to their normal
boring routine with work, play and sleep and nothing major going tits up.

Surprisingly we welcomed this year to get over so much heartache at the end of last
year! Through it all though, and it’s been two months of it, we have each other and
still we smile and laugh and for the moment of the smiles and laughter, nothing else
matters.

We haven’t been a year together yet and still we cope with all that’s been thrown
at us in 2013 alone. I love her and she loves me with a love so deep it feels like it
has always been there, just waiting for us to meet and become who we are. I feel as
though I have been waiting all my life for her to arrive and look at me the way she
does.

We have plans the two of us, for our family and our future, right now they all seem to
be drifting in the wind with all that’s gone on, but still we plan for our future. Even
with all of the heartache we have endured this year, we plan and smile for we know it
is all fleeting and that around the corner is our life, new and different.

It’s hard to see the plan in what is going on though, yet deep down we both know that
the universe is shifting and that this will all make sense soon, when again we see our
path clear.

I wrote a short story for the first time since October yesterday and although it was
nothing special, it felt so good to have the freedom of my thoughts on paper at
long last. Today, well it was bad news again which will have a huge impact on us
financially.

I want to raise my fists at the sky and scream ‘why?’! Instead I am writing, as this is
what I am. A writer, regardless of how good or bad I am, that is who I am. It’s what
makes me feel alive, it’s how I speak and work things out that I can’t talk about. She
laughs that I can be so descriptive and eloquent on paper, yet I cannot speak the words
out loud so easily.

To me though it all makes sense, I write and the words flow. So whether you think my
writing good or bad, it doesn’t change the fact that I am one. She has been trying to
get me to write for months and I have kept everything in and refused to write. When
the year began she gave me incentives for writing, yet still I couldn’t write. I had no
interest in it at all.

For a while I thought that I was done and had written my all. Yet these last few weeks
despite all that’s been going on, the characters have been there in my head telling me
their secrets and insisting I write them down.

I’ve hurt my hands several times recently and friends have said that perhaps I am
being told something about my writing. And I suppose now I am listening and the
words are there I wonder if they have been right about it. Broken finger, skiers thumb
and all sorts of cuts and scrapes; my hand really hurt (so much so that I thought I was
going to have to return to the docs for an x-ray-don’t ever put your hands out in front
of you when in a car crash by the way) until I began typing just now. The pain has
stopped and as I type it’s gone.

I take the hint universe! I take the hint! Just please stop throwing this much crap our
way and really give us the break that we deserve. We deserve to be happy and content
and boring for that matter. We deserve to have a house, car, kids, our cat back and
maybe even a puppy. We deserve to be financially secure and all that would bring.

We have both had shitty childhoods and a shitty adulthood. We have only ever had
moments of good times. It’s now time we had a good life for us all, and for the rest of
our lives. We deserve it and today is the day I say enough! From tomorrow life will be
better for us, we deserve no more of this and I won’t have it anymore.

Expect to see my writing appearing again, not as often as before as I now have a
family and they deserve my time too. However I will be blogging again here and I
will be writing again on my other blog Phoenix Words on Screen. You might even
see a few lines from time to time on my Phoenix Wolf Rising site. One thing is for
sure, I refuse to take any more of what we have been experiencing. SO enough! We
need our lives back so we can move forward.

I hope that you have all missed me and my writing and I promise that future posts
won’t be as morbid as this post! :-)

Phoenix
xxx

Posted in Musings

Christmas with family

So it’s over for another year! I had one of the best I’ve ever had and that’s surprising given the week prior to the day itself!

It started with Mistress and her child being made homeless, the car being issued with a defect notice and then not getting the rental we were so sure was about to become our home together with our pup.

I spent last Saturday crying with frustration at everything happening that we had no control over and also in anger at my works inability to sort out my future there which would resolve everything that was going on!

I made it hard for Mistress as she was the one all this was happening to and she ended up having to comfort me because I lost control at our lack of control.

However we decided that Christmas was going to be fun regardless of all that brown stuff hitting the fan and it was! The child eventually wakened around 5.30 (I’d been awake from 4.30!) and we spent the next hour or so opening the seemingly endless amount of parcels under the tree!

I was given such lovely and thoughtful gifts that my heart sang. My favourites – a wolf necklace for the other side of me and a Street Fighter monopoly set which is awesome! I love that game and have been playing it for years and didn’t know that there was a monopoly version!

For Mistress I bought a present for each aspect of her personality; Mistress, girl, baby girl, dolly and kitten! This resulted in me getting an awesome present of my kitten over Christmas which the thought of still makes my heart sing!

We spent the day with our chosen family splashing about in the pooI and having so much fun I didn’t want it to end.

Boxing Day saw them come to visit us and I cooked a traditional turkey dinner with all the trimmings (plus obligatory prawn cocktail and trifle!)

So it’s almost New Year and Hogmanay will see us celebrating with them again. We both have had a shitty upbringing and to have chosen such wonderful people as family makes us happy to call them such, when we both have chosen to isolate ourselves from the blood family who hurt us so much.

Decisions have been made for the new year and hopefully we can see an end to the upheaval and worry of the last few weeks which has nearly broken us both.

For you my friends I wish you everything you have ever wished for yourself for the coming year. Be safe, happy and enjoy each day as it comes.

Happy 2013 when it comes my friends.

Phoenix
Xxx

Posted in Musings

Cunt torture, collars and rope – oh my!

Life has been really busy recently and despite my best efforts I have been away a while again!  I seem to always have other things that I want to do instead of sitting in my head and writing.  I miss writing, don’t get me wrong, I miss it so much when I have characters having conversations in my head and by the time I have space to sit down I’ve forgotten them.  I carry my iPad around with me yet never seem to think to take it out and jot these things down like I used to.

I spend every day with my Mistress now, neither of us being able to spend the evenings or the mornings wakening, apart.  We have been searching for a rental property together so that we don’t have to travel between our places and constantly be packing and unpacking and living from our cases.  I would go and buy a place, but am waiting for my contract renewal and although it is unlikely I will be out of a job, I know that if I am offered anything less than 2 years I will be moving on.  I have been there more than 2 years now and have managed to get my team of 11 all ongoing contracts so it sticks in my throat that because of my promotion and salary that they are struggling to make me ongoing.

So, a rental it must be for the time being, and you would think that would be easy given my senior position and salary at work! But no, the rental market here is crazy and 50-60 applicants for each house and the rents increasing weekly! So we keep searching and living between each others places where we have but a room.  Luckily my landlady is going away for Christmas, so we have the place to ourselves and it will seem if for a short while like we are home and as I write this, my Lady is decorating our very first Christmas tree in preparation for picking the child up tomorrow.

So, what have I been up to recently?  Well, a lot as usual and some play thrown in! We have been to many events over the last few weeks and this weekend (apart from tomorrow when we have a birthday picnic for a fet friend of ours) we have decided not to go to the party we were meant to be going to for reasons, well I will get to that perhaps another time.

We had our 6 months anniversary last month and my lady spoiled me as usual and bought me a large canvas print which I intend hanging in my office, (when I eventually have one!) where it will inspire me while I write.  We have very similar tastes and I fully intend getting the rest of the set of these prints.  She also bought me the first of my 1000 cranes – its beautiful and framed and we intend to get the 1000 eventually!  (It is said that whoever folds a 1000 cranes will be granted their hearts desire – as we already have ours we want the physical evidence that reminds us every day).  I couldn’t resist buying her some too – 21 red ones in the shape of a love heart – they make both of us smile every time we pass them in the hallway in my house!

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A friend of my Lady’s was to be married a few weeks ago so off we went on a long car journey in 32C heat with no aircon to Harvey (where majority of WA milk comes from), the wedding was beautiful and the ceremony of course involved handcuffs!  We spent a lovely day fighting off flies and smiling at one another every time something was said that rang true with our relationship – nothing like a wedding for making you soppy eh?!

I had my first suspension at a local club which was awesome, as did my Lady, me in rope, her in silk – to say I loved it would be an understatement!

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About 10 days ago we were turned into vampires with the most awesome teeth which we fitted to our teeth and looked like they actually belonged there!  My Lady looked so beautiful and at the time I was her Sir.  But it didn’t last despite the fact that it was still my turn until the following evening at midnight.  We had been kissing and she grabbed me by the throat and before I knew where I was I was calling her Ma’am.  I couldn’t have been happier, yet if she had done that any other time it would’ve earned her a slap for her cheek.

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In amongst all of these happenings there have been some very important events!

The first happened on the 4th November when we acquired our pup Calico who, although not quite new to the scene was nervous about entering into a D/s relationship, however she fits in very well with us both although we do not see her enough at the moment. Hopefully that will change once we have our house as she is to move in with us, so we will be able to give her more attention than she has been getting at the moment. I can’t wait to chain her out the back yard as I’ve promised for her cheek!

More importantly on the 16th November I collared my girl and both of us could not be happier. We have discussed it for some time but neither of us were willing to take that step until it was the right time but also until the other had earned that honour.  She fully earned that honour a long time ago to be fair but time had not passed to ensure that it was right for us both.  It was!

Cs Collar

The next important date was 30th November, St Andrew’s Day(my patron saint) and the day my Lady collared me.  It’s so beautiful and I spend all day touching it and ensuring that it’s still there.  I have never felt so complete in my life as I did the moment she put it around my neck, and I couldn’t be happier than I am at this moment. We as you know live a 24/7 relationship, and although we switch, it’s very easy and clear to us our roles, whoever happens to be in charge.

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These are our day-to-day collars and we will at some point also have collars for wearing to events etc for whoever’s turn it happens to be for kneeling, we are  in no hurry as we have the symbolism of what our relationship means now.

So we both are collared, a lot of people may not understand our switching life, but it works for us and that’s all that matters.  We know who we are and we know who the other is. To us it’s easy and natural and normal.

In between all of these goings on we have played and my Lady has been slowly introducing me to cunt torture which I must say right now I actually love! It frightened the life out of me just the thought of it, but the reality is much much nicer!

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It’s taken me a few days to write this as my laptop crashed in the middle the last time and it doesn’t seem to take much to stop me writing these days.  My Lady gave me a task a while back of writing and since then I have done virtually none.  I have no idea why that would be the case but the task seemed to make it different and harder and something that was not achievable. So, I have not been writing since I tried to write a part of the first task and failed to come up with any more than a few lines. My Lady told me to email those lines to her and delete them and then do the rest of the task ongoing. I had to write 2 blog posts, complete an unfinished piece and write something new every week. I feel such a failure for letting her down and continuously not completing my tasks every week since she gave me it and I accepted it.

I managed one week of it and have written nothing at all since, not even any ideas.  Help! I have no idea why since I would do almost anything for Her. I am normally very good at analysing why I do the things I do, but this time I am at a loss.  Hopefully if I just forget about it being a task and just write like I used to then I maybe can write again?  Maybe I’m back, who knows? Oh and just because it’s that time of the year here is a special picture to end this blog post off on!

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Posted in Musings

Hello.. its me again

It’s been an amazing time recently and I will blog later about my views on it all! l love and adore my Lady so very much and I love that she is writing again! It fills my heart with joy to read her thoughts xXx

Posted in Musings
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